Planning a wedding as an introvert? Celebrant Weddings are perfect for shy couples too!

A couple spend a moment together after their ceremony.

Are you nervous about planning a wedding as an introverted couple?

Have you thought that you can’t choose a personal wedding ceremony if you don’t love being the centre of attention? 

Have you ever felt that a celebrant wedding ceremony is only for extroverts?

I’m here to reassure you that celebrant ceremonies are just as, if not even more, perfect for gentle-hearted and introverted couples who feel less comfortable in the spotlight!  

I recently booked a couple who shared that they'd previously had some worries about how they’d feel during a wedding ceremony, as they are both fairly introverted. Being less comfortable with all eyes on them is why they chose to have a celebrant wedding ceremony. 

Planning a wedding ceremony where you don’t feel overwhelmed by attention.

They wanted someone who made them feel comfortable, who’d have time to be empathetic and compassionate with them on their day. As a shy couple planning a wedding, they wanted a relaxed and intimate wedding ceremony, where they’d feel surrounded by love, but still as if it was just them in that moment. They didn’t want to feel ‘on display’, awkward or overwhelmed at their wedding. They wanted to feel supported instead of gawped at.

Over the years, I’ve supported many introverted, nervous couples who’ve felt quite daunted about the idea of all eyes being on them, and I’ve created a ceremony for each of them that prioritised making them feel comfortable throughout. 

Here are some of the wedding planning choices that my more reserved couples have made, and some ways I’ve supported introverted couples planning their wedding or civil partnership.

Tips for introverted, shy and gentle-hearted couples planning their wedding ceremony.

• Thinking about exactly how much was shared during their ceremony

While a celebrant ceremony is always personalised, that doesn’t mean that every detail of your life needs to be shared. No vulnerability hangovers here!

• Entering the ceremony space comfortably. 

You don’t have to enter the space down an aisle. One couple even chose to be in the space before guests, with music marking the ceremony start.

• Reminded my couples to hold hands and breathe!

Simple, effective, grounding - easily forgotten! 

• As a celebrant for shy and introverted couples, I’m someone trusted, learning their cues.

In those moments, as guests arrive, and one of the couple is waiting at the front, I’ve learned from them during our time together how to tell when they’re becoming overwhelmed and have been able to reassure them and suggest ways to help them feel grounded. This has also included gently whisking one half of a couple to a quieter space, when a queue of well-meaning, excited guests formed, trying to say hello as we waited for their partner to arrive.

• We took a moment - literally.

One of my more nervous couples worried that with everything rushing through their minds, they might not have bandwidth to appreciate their ceremony. So, we included a literal moment to breathe and take everything in, right in the heart of their ceremony. Our couple, and all their guests, had that quick, quiet moment to just breathe and ground themselves.

• Considered how and where they sat and stood.

Sometimes, something as simple as how a ceremony space is set up, making it easier to be side-on to guests, or to only focus on some key faces, can make shy couples not feel under the glare of too many sets of eyes.

• Encouraged them to use a fidget toy during their ceremony.

If you use fidget toys in moments where you might feel overwhelmed, there is nothing to stop you from doing the same at your wedding ceremony. Why not hold a sensory item in your hands or in your pocket if you’d rather? Interact with it during the ceremony if it will help you stay focused in the moment. 

• Private vows and/or time away, together, afterwards.

I’ve worked with couples so that they have made short promises for their future to each other in front of their guests, but shared their more personal thoughts and reflections more privately. Couples have done this either through exchanged letters, before or during the ceremony, or by taking quiet time away, together straight afterwards.

Have you been feeling nervous about your ceremony? Do you worry about feeling on display?
Would you like more ideas for planning a wedding or civil partnership that feels more like you?